As the weeks come closer for me to join university, a lot has happened in the past few months and even thinking further…in the last few years of my life.
I’ve pretty much used the last 5 years trying to please everyone and I’m thankful and proud of the person I am today. A lot of trials and tribulations and I’ve also mentally matured at a faster rate than most people my age.
The thing about me is that over this time period I’d created this safety barrier around me and have always been careful to not allow myself to be emotionally open to people. Whether it being family or friends, only recently am I learning to be more social and charismatic, especially since meeting a certain someone…
I’m not huge on horoscopes but I do believe that we are all born with traits associated with the month we’re born in, as to why I feel that I hide a lot of my external personality from people. I’m a Gemini btw. I have a very friendly sweet nice persona that I have put on for the past couple of years but along with that is a very dark arrogant cold person that I have pushed under the rug of my character. That side has revealed itself on many occasions through rants and even verbally, which I sometimes do apologise for.
Rounding up this random message, I just think that I’m a little afraid of what’s to hold for my relationships with people and my future. I’m leaving my family who mean the absolute world to me, as well as my friends who I have laughed and cried with and another special person who I have only just started seeing and I fear sometimes that he would lose interest because of the distance etc. All these emotions and thoughts running through my head aaaargh.
Anyway this is just a random update of where my head is at the moment. 5 more months and I’m gone for 3 years.
This week has been a week full of interesting events. I’m learning more and more…hmm.